Thursday, June 23, 2016
why I want to run
Tonight is the first night of the half-marathon clinic I signed up for at the Running Room. The 10-miler I wanted was cancelled and now, all of a sudden, I'm training to run 21K. Yikes. I still don't quite believe I can do it, but I'm starting out anyhow. This post isn't about whether I can do it though. It's about the feeling underneath that's compelling me to do it. I tried explaining why I wanted to run longer distances to a friend recently, and realized that it wasn't easily explainable. I'm not sure I know all the reasons why. I can feel why though. Underneath the very physical experience of putting one foot in front of the other is a calling towards something more subtle. The image I have of it is of open space and light, and a runner in that space, expanding it. I want to enlarge the space within which I live. Out of my physical comfort zone. I want to feel more competent outside of the very comfortable space of city life. I want to feel free, strong, and more connected to nature and my soul. That's a lot to ask of running. It doesn't feel that way most times when I'm slogging along on a run (especially uphill). But that's what's underneath. And I get hints of it sometimes during running. Whether longer-distance running ends up taking me to a greater feeling of freedom and expansion, the feeling is what I'm aiming towards, and this is an arrow I'm shooting.